20 Random Facts about Teddy Remus Lupin
by elenorecanard
Summary: Facts about Teddy's life. Written for the Harry Potter Random Facts Fest at Insane Journal.
1. 20 Random Facts

**Title**: 20 Random Facts about Teddy Remus Lupin

**Author**: Elenorecanard  
**Rating**:PG  
**Warning(s)**: None  
**Word Count**: 1,143.  
**Disclaimer**: Unfortunately, Teddy doesn't belong to me. I wish he did, though.  
**Author's Note(s)**: 20 facts about our favorite multicolored werewolf cub, in no particular order. Written for the Harry Potter Random Facts Fest at InsaneJournal. Look for user name julialinnea. I know this is an odd format, but it was a lot of fun to write. There is a list of several more fact lists about pretty much any HP character you could want. Go check it out!

…:::…:::…:::…

1. Teddy's earliest memory is of a dream he had of his parents. His mother was holding a baby with blue hair and kissing his father goodbye. Then she handed the baby to his Gran and followed him. The fact that the baby's hair was blue, or that Gran turned into an owl didn't tip him off that it was a dream, because Teddy is a wizard, and that sort of thing is normal. He knew it was a dream because his parents came back. Not even magic can do that.

2. When Kingsley first took office, he saw to it that a fund was started for the families of those who died in battle. Teddy receives benefits for both his mother and his father, but he doesn't touch any of it. He leaves it in his vault so if he ever has children, they'll be taken care of if he can't be around for some reason.

3. When Teddy finishes Hogwarts, he is offered places in the Auror department and the Department of Mysteries, because of the combination of his marks and his abilities. He's training to be a Healer instead.

4. Teddy is terrified to go to school. He knows his ability was rare. Even at eleven, he's seen how grown-ups gawk when they see hiss hair change. He will already stand out because of his parents and his Godfather. He doesn't want to stand out because he can make his nose look like a pigs, or because when he's embarrassed, his hair goes a color Harry refers to as "Weasley Red."

5. Teddy inherits the Map the day before Harry and Gran take him to King's Cross Station. Harry tells him all about Messers Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs. Then he makes Teddy promise not to tell Gran where he got it, should she ever find it. He tries to give it to James when he starts school too, but Harry says Teddy should keep it for his own kids to have someday. Plus, Ginny would go spare if she knew the kids had it.

6. The boys in Teddy's year think he's gay. He's not. He just doesn't feel that they need to know about his personal life. Therefore, he doesn't share the fact that he's a virgin while they're all passing around Firewhiskey that they smuggled in, and sharing their recent conquests.

7. He's had exactly three girlfriends: Emily Partridge, Mina Williams and Victoire Weasley. Emily and Mina were great, but he loves Victoire.

8. Emily Partridge also happens to be his first kiss. She is also the first and only girl he's been caught snogging in a supposedly abandoned classroom. How are they supposed to know Professor Longbottom uses the room to teach Advanced Herbelogical Theory?

9. Teddy loves his grandmother with all his heart, but at the age of fifteen, there's no way he's going to ask her advice about girls. He hopes her feelings aren't hurt when he floos Harry.

10. Harry's advice becomes invaluable in many areas, and Teddy goes to his godfather whenever there is a question or problem he wishes he could ask his father about.

11. Teddy loves to fly. He's probably the best flier in his year. He doesn't like to play Quidditch though. This drives the captain and Professor McGonnagal absolutely mad.

12. Teddy usually keeps his hair bright blue, although, until he's about sixteen, it's fairly easy to tell his mood by his hair color. He almost never wears it brown, because, of the three photos he has of his parents, there's only one when his mother's hair is brown, and in that photo she's alone. It's also the only charmed photo in which her hair doesn't change color. Gran won't explain it beyond saying the year before he was born was a tough one for his mother.

13. In fact, Teddy has a picture of his parents in his wallet. His mother's hair is the brightest pink he's ever seen, and his father is laughing. They're both playing with a small, blue haired baby. It isn't charmed, so his parents don't wave at him or blink. They just stand very close to each other. They never walk out of the picture.

14. Everything Teddy knows about the war now known as Voldemort's Second War, he learned at school. The Potters and the Weasleys don't discuss it beyond telling him about his parents, and neither does Gran. He doesn't know how Harry managed to survive the Killing Curse, and he doesn't know what Harry, Ron and Hermione did for a year while they were 'on the run' as _Hogwarts, A History_ says. He does know that he's glad he missed most of it.

15. When Gran calls Teddy to the fireplace, three days after his twelfth birthday, and bundles him into the floo and off to the Potters mumbling something about 'His Godfather' needing to speak with him, he's confused to say the least. When he returns home a few hours later, he is armed with spells and charms he didn't know existed, and that he's fairly sure he'd get into a fair amount of trouble for needing at school, and not just from Professors Longbottom and McGonnagal. Even if it is the responsible thing to do.

16. For as long as he can remember, Gran has called him Teddy Bear. Because of this, he tried to change his name to Jonathon when he was six. He insisted everyone call him Jon for days, until Gran showed him a picture and told him about his Grandpa Ted. Then Teddy was Teddy again.

17. Teddy loves Muggle churches. He could walk through churches and stare at the windows for hours at a time. He thinks it's amazing that Muggles could make huge, colored windows with out magic. He also loves to sit at the back of the chapel during services. The ritual fascinates him.

18. The first time Teddy does magic not related to his Morphing, he is four. Gran won't let him have a biscuit before bed, so he levitates it off the highest shelf. When Gran comes into the kitchen and catches him, he's so startled the tin explodes in a shower of crumbs.

19. Teddy's favorite times are the times he spends with Harry and Ginny and their kids, or with the rest of the Weasleys. He loves the activity and the noise. When he tells Harry and Ginny this, Ginny tells him he's a nutter. Harry just smiles quietly.

20. Last night Teddy paid a visit to Bill Weasley. Right now, he's standing in front of Victoire's door, one hundred percent positive that her neighbor's must hear his heart pounding, so he takes a deep breath and checks one more time to make sure the ring is in his pocket and knocks on the door.


	2. The First Fact

**Author:** elenorecanard

**Title:** The First Fact

**Word Count:** 476

**Rating:** G

**Warnings:** DH Spoilers.

**Summary:** Teddy tells Andromeda about his dream.

**Author's notes**: Okay, I'm gonna try this out. I'm trying to write a short little ficlet for each of my facts about Teddy. This is the first.

…:::…:::…:::…

"Gran!" five-year-old Teddy stood on the settee staring at the photos on the side table and screaming for Andromeda.

"Ted Remus Lupin, I was present when you were born, so I know it didn't happen in a barn! Get off the settee that way!!' Andromeda Tonks appeard from the kitchen. "What in Merlin's name are you yelling about?"

Teddy bounced down to sit like he'd been told. "Where's my mum and dad?" he asked, almost as though he expected them to walk through the door.

Andromeda sighed and sat down next to him. "Teddy, you know where your parents are. They're beyond the veil with your granddad."

"No, they're not! I saw them last night!" Teddy almost bounced with excitement. He'd finally get to see his mum and dad. They'd hug him and tuck him in and tell him stories and teach him magic! His mum could teach him how to change his nose, and his dad would scare away the monsters under the bed. He turned around again and snatched up the picture of the people his Grandmother called Remus and Dora. They waved up at him, smiling.

"See?" He pointed to his dad. "Dad hugged mum and kissed the baby she was holding and then he left—"

Andromeda started at the little boy. Remus had indeed hugged Dora and kissed his son when the call went out to join the Order at Hogwarts.

"Then Mum handed the baby to you, and kissed it, and hugged you, and followed Dad," Teddy continued.

Andromeda gasped. How on earth could Teddy remember that? He'd only been a few days old when his parents were killed.

"Then," Teddy went on, "you turned in to an owl, and carried the baby away. I didn't know you could turn into an owl, Gran. Where'd you take the baby? When are Mum and Dad coming here?"

For a moment, Andromeda couldn't answer him. Then, she gently gathered her grandson into her lap.

"Oh, Teddy Bear. Mummy and Daddy aren't coming back. I can't turn into an owl, and the baby was you."

Teddy squirmed. "But Gran! I saw them! After you flew away, they came back. They came back, and I saw them, and they said 'Teddy, we love you.'"

"Teddy, you had a dream. A beautiful dream of your mum and dad. But they died, sweetie. They went away to help Uncle Harry and to keep you safe, and they were hurt very badly, and they can't come back."

"But Gran, what about Beedle the Bard? He had a magic rock. Remember?" Teddy didn't understand.

"Beddle the Bard only wrote stories, Teddy, dear. His magic stone isn't real. If I could say a spell and bring them back here for you, I would. But there's no magic that can do that." Andromeda blinked back her tears before they fell.


	3. The Second Fact

**Title**: The Second Fact

**Author**: Elenorecanard  
**Rating**:PG  
**Warning(s)**: DH Spoilers   
**Word Count**: 750

**Summary:** Teddy explains his savings vault.   
**Disclaimer**: Unfortunately, Teddy doesn't belong to me. I wish he did, though.

…:::…:::…:::…

The note he'd left was nothing particularly remarkable.

"Vic-

Back in ten minutes.

Ted"

Simple. To the point. It was the information on the back of the note that had left her stunned. She wasn't sure how a Healer-in-training had _this_ kind of money in a savings vault. And she wasn't sure why a man with this kind of money kept it in a savings vault and lived in a studio flat in Diagon Alley. But what really had her puzzled was how her fiancé could have this kind of money and not _tell_ her about it.

"Sorry, Babe. Lily's sick, and Ginny needed to pop over to the apothecary, so I-" Teddy froze in the middle of brushing soot off of his trousers when he realized that Victoire hadn't turned to look at him. "What? What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, Ted. I just…well, I'm surprised. That's all," she said, turning and holding out the parchment he'd scribbled his note on.

Teddy looked puzzled, but took the parchment, his hair turning red when he realized exactly what it was.

"Not exactly the sort of document you leave notes for people on, eh?" Victoire ventured.

"No, not really," Teddy conceded. "I'm sorry, Vic. I was going to tell you about it today, but, well, obviously not like this."

Victoire crossed to the settee and sat and looked at Teddy expectantly. "Well, tell me about it," she said. "Because I'm curious as to why my fiancé has that much money in a vault, and hasn't told me about it yet."

Teddy joined her. "It really isn't that much, Vic. Not as much as I intend to put there," he sighed.

"What are you talking about, Ted? You could buy a house with that!"

"Yeah, I suppose I could. And you could send one and a half kids to Hogwarts and not worry about a thing."

"Teddy, we're not going to have to worry about sending our children to school. It'll be fine."

"No, I know _we_ won't. And I don't want _you_ to have to either," Teddy told her, as though this explained everything.

"Right. You've lost me again. What are you on about?"

"This will sound horrible, but Vic, even though my folks died, I was lucky. My Grandmother's a Black, and my Godfather is Harry Potter. I didn't go to an orphanage, and we never had to worry about money, or anything. Some kids weren't that lucky, Victoire. And I decided I didn't want to put my own kids through anything like that. Didn't want to put _you_ through that. So I've been putting money away, just in case."

Victoire was quiet for a minute. "How long have you been saving this?" She asked.

"Well, the vault was officially mine when I came of age, and I've been adding to it since then," he answered.

"You've been thinking of your future wife and children since you were seventeen?" Victoire sounded surprised.

Teddy shrugged. "Yeah, I guess so."

She hugged him hard. "You surprise me every day, Teddy Lupin," she said, leaning into his side as they sat back again. "But you said you've been adding to it. What were you adding to?"

"The Ministry money," he told her. Her face didn't seem to register recognition. "After the war, Kingsley instituted a fund for the families of the people who died. They sent money every month. Gran and Harry tried to refuse the money, but apparently Kingsley told them there was nothing they could do about it and to shut up and take the money. Gran and Harry opened a vault and left it there for me to deal with when I was of age. Gran put mum's pension there too," Teddy explained.

"Teddy, I think this is amazing. Most blokes don't think about children and things."

Teddy snorted. "When I told Gran and Harry and Ginny, Gran told me I sounded like my Dad and Ginny told me I sounded like Harry, always planning for the worst."

"What did Harry say?"

"'Smart kid,'" Teddy told her. He was quiet for a moment. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about it earlier. I didn't want to scare you, talking about kids and things already, when we're only just engaged."

"I just have one more question," Victoire said.

"What's that?"

"You said you weren't done adding to the vault. How many children are you planning for?" She asked him with a smile.

Teddy laughed out loud, and pulled her close for a kiss.


	4. The Third Fact

Title: The Third Fact

Author: Elenorecanard

Word Count: 478

Rating: G

Summary: Teddy informs Harry about his decisions about the future.

Author's Note: Thanks to blysnovels for the beta. Teddy, Harry and Ron belong to JKR. I wish they were mine, but they're not.

…:::…:::…:::…

Ted paced his Godfather's office. He knew he was making the right decision but he didn't look forward to telling Harry about it. He also wasn't entirely pleased with his own timing. The secretary's report that "Auror Potter" was in a "private meeting" had sounded a little ominous.

Ted stood still when the door opened. Harry strode in followed by Ron and secretary; he nodded at Ted as the secretary continued to rattle off messages.

"The Minster owled about the Azkaban inspection, Neville Longbottom sent a note to tell you he confiscated six different Skiving Snack Boxes from James. Auror Weasley-"

"Ron," the Auror interjected.

"Ron," the secretary went on, "Mrs. Weasley sent this memo up for you. Oh! And Auror Potter, Ted Lupin is waiting in your office."

Ron snorted.

Harry grinned. "Thank you, Gwen. Why don't you take your lunch break?"

"Thank you, Sir," Gwen ducked her head and left.

"I won't tell Ginny you sent the Snack Boxes. Don't worry," Harry said, looking at Ted.

"How- how'd you know it was me?" Ted asked.

"Your hair's redder than mine, mate," Ron laughed.

"What brings you all the way to the Ministry, Ted?" Harry asked.

"I was hoping for a word, actually."

"Well, have a seat. What's on your mind?" Harry indicated the chair next to Ron.

"I sent a letter, of course, to make it official, but I thought I should come tell you personally, before the owl arrived, you know?" Ted began babbling.

"Blimey, Harry. He reminds me of you asking Dad to marry Ginny!" Ron said.

"Stuff it, Ron. Teddy, relax. It's just me. What's got you so nervous?" Harry

asked calmly.

"I don't want to be an Auror!" Ted blurted out. "I don't want you to take it personally, Harry, but I felt like I owe you more than a simple letter. I'm sorry."

"Yes!" Ron interjected.

Ted stared at him wide-eyed.

"You just won me five galleons, kid!" Ron explained.

"You bet against your own department?" Harry looked incredulous.

Ron shrugged. "The kid's not an Auror, Harry. He's more like his Dad in that regard."

Harry nodded. "Where are you headed then? Did Parvati give you a better offer with the Unspeakables?"

Ted started to relax. "No," he said. "Not the Unspeakables, although, I won't be going down' to tell them in person."

"Bollox!" Ron muttered under his breath.

"What now?" Harry asked.

"Lost two. Thought he'd take Parvati's offer," Ron said, glumly.

"Serves you right," Harry said, turning his attention back to Ted.

"I'm going to take an apprenticeship at St. Mungos," Ted said, needing no further prompting.

"A Healer-in-training, eh?"

Ted nodded.

"You'll do well at it. You're compassionate and smart," Harry told him. "It's a wise choice."

"Thanks, Harry. That means a lot from you," Ted said solemnly.

"Thanks for coming to tell me," Harry said.

"Well, I figured I owed you that much. You changed my nappies and fed me Sunday dinner!"

Harry laughed.


	5. The Fourth Fact

**Title: **20 Random Facts About Teddy Remus Lupin: The Fourth Fact

**Author**: Elenorecanard

**Rating**:PG  
**Warning(s)**: none

**Word Count**: 1,276

**Summary: Teddy **and Harry at King's Cross Station  
**Disclaimer**: Unfortunately, Teddy doesn't belong to me. I wish he did, though.  
**Author's Note(s)**: Here's fact four from my 20 Random Facts. This chapter and the next two are for my sister, blysnovels, who usually betas for me. However, she's been crazy busy and hasn't had a lot of time, so these three are unbeta. Any mistakes are purely my own fault. This has been a long time coming, I know. Actually, Fact Four was taken from a fic I started to write long before I wrote all the facts, but I never finished it. Until now, of course. Now it's been turned into a fact ficlet. Hope you enjoy it.

…:…:…:…

It was a very ordinary September first at King's Cross Station. It was sunny, crisp and cool, and there were people everywhere. The usual passengers and employees were mixed in with members of the National Owl Owners Club on their way to an annual meeting, somewhere in Scotland. In fact the only interesting thing at King's Cross Station that day had been covered with a green and gold hat to avoid attracting the attention of Muggles. So it was with out suspicion that Harry Potter led his godson, his wife, and the child's grandmother through the barrier on to Platform 9 3/4.

"Alright, Ted. We're through. You can take your hat off now," Harry said, dropping the break on the luggage cart he'd been pushing.

"Teddy, what did we talk about before we left? Pick a hair color for the day, and stick with it, please. You're going to confuse someone." Andromeda scolded gently, tucking the Harpies hat away in his knapsack.

Teddy looked startled. "It's not blue?"

Ginny laughed, and Harry ruffled the boy's offending hair. "Nope. It's green….yellow…orange…" Harry blinked hard.

"Teddy, take a deep breath, and concentrate hard for a second," Ginny instructed. Harry raised an eyebrow at her and she shrugged. "'Swhat Tonks used to do...when she was nervous."

Teddy did as instructed, scrunching up his face and looking for all the world like his mother's son. The rainbow that was his hair slowed down its changing and eventually settled into a bright blue that would have made both his parents proud, but made Andromeda huff. "You couldn't have chosen brown for your first day at school? Or maybe black?"

"Right. Let's get your things to the luggage car," Harry said, quickly.

Teddy swallowed hard, and his hair started cycling through colors again. "Gran, I think I'd better stay home with you this year."

"Don't be ridiculous, Teddy bear. How would you learn if you stayed home?" Andromeda said, lightly.

Harry and Ginny didn't speak.

"Well, you could teach me, couldn't you? And Harry! George says Harry was the best teacher he ever had, and Harry was only a fifth year! And Hermione! _You_ said she was the brightest witch of her age, Harry. Not everyone goes to Hogwarts!" Teddy said, very quickly, as though he thought someone would steal the words if he didn't get them out fast enough.

"Teddy," Andromeda started, sternly, "We've already talked about this. I cannot teach you things like Arithmancy, and Ancient Runes, and Care of Magical Creatures. Harry does not have time to sit and teach you Defense Against the Dark Arts all day. He has bad wizards to catch. Nor does Hermione. She's got laws to write."

"But Gran, you'll be all alone! Who's gonna keep you company? Who's gonna degnome the garden? Who'll feed Beata?" Teddy had his argument planned.

"Teddy—" Andromeda started.

"Hey, Ted," Harry cut her off. "Let's go get an ice cream, yeah?"

Teddy looked a little crestfallen. "Yeah. Alright."

Harry winked at Ginny. "Would you like an ice cream, Andromeda? Ginny?"

Ginny smiled and shook her head slightly.

"No, thank you, dear. I'll just take Teddy's things to the right place," Andromeda said, giving Harry a look of thanks.

Harry led Teddy back through the barrier and to the ice cream cart nearest platform nine, and out of ear shot of the women.

"So," Harry said, handing Teddy a cone, and sitting down on a low wall. "What's all this about not going to school?"

Teddy shrugged. "I just…well…kids are gonna make fun of me, Harry! The second my hair changes colors, I'm going to get laughed at. Or what if my nose changes, and I don't notice it, like at Christmas? What if I get detention for making faces at the professors when I don't mean to?"

Harry smiled gently. "According to your Gran, your mum never had any problems making friends. Even when she got distracted and her nose changed, or her hair turned colors. I believe I even heard a story about her sprouting horns, and I'm sure kids, laughed, Teddy, 'cause that's right funny, but she never got detention for it, as far as your Gran told me, anyway. The professors know all about kids with special talents. They teach at Hogwarts after all."

Teddy's expression did not lighten.

"Teddy? Is that it? You're just worried about being a metamorphmagus?" Harry asked.

"Did—Harry, did kids ever make fun of you…about your parents?" The boy asked tentatively.

"My—Oh, Ted, once or twice, maybe? Some git would make some crack about my mum, but Ted, you have to know that…well, that git's knew that the way to get to me was by insulting my parents, who'd been insulted and lied about for years, by their own family. Your folks, Teddy, are heroes. They died trying to make the world safe for you. No one's going to make fun of you for that." Harry looked at his Godson with a very serious expression. "Teddy, your parents names are in the history books. When Neville calls your name, and you put on the Sorting Hat, everyone is going to whisper, because Remus and Nymphadora Tonks Lupin are in _Hogwarts: A History_ and probably every other book Professor Binns uses. And every Gryffindor and Hufflepuff will be holding their breath because they'll want to know where the son of heroes is going to be Sorted. And then somebody's going to say 'He's Harry Potter's Godson' and open up a whole new can of worms. And I'm sorry that that's the reality of it, 'cause Merlin knows you don't need anything else to draw attention to you," Harry's eyes flicked up to Teddy's now rapidly cycling hair. "But I don't want you to let anyone tell you anything different than what I'm telling you now. Your parents were great friends to me. Your dad was brave and noble and loving and, yes, he was a werewolf, and all of those kids will know that, but he was only a wolf one night a month and the rest of the time he was one of the best men I knew. Your mum was a metamorphmagus, and an Auror and a member of the Order of the Phoenix just like your dad, and yes, she did defect from the Aurors during the war. But really, she couldn't very well stay an stay in the Order and be married to a werewolf _and_ work for a Ministry that was trying to kill the people she loved the most could she? She left the Aurors for you, and your dad, and so she could fight on the right side. There might be some kids who tell you your parents were freaks, or call them worse names than that, or call _you_ worse names than that, but none of that is true. You'll remember that, won't you?"

Teddy's hair had settled to a mousy brown color and he looked very somber. He nodded quietly.

"You're going to be just fine at Hogwarts, Teddy. You're going to make more friends than you'll know what to do with, and learn so much that you'll be teaching me things, I'm sure. Don't be scared of the slight possibility of a few kids who don't know their heads from their arses, okay?"

Teddy smiled slightly. "Yeah, okay."

Harry smiled too. "Don't tell your Gran I said 'arse', okay?"

Teddy laughed then, and his hair slowly faded back to blue.

"There's the color I like to see with your smile," Harry ruffled his hair. "Let's go find Ginny and Gran, yeah? They'll be wondering where we got too."


	6. The Fifth Fact

**Title: **20 Random Facts About Teddy Remus Lupin: The Fifth Fact

**Author**: elenorecanard

**Rating**:PG  
**Warning(s)**: none

**Word Count**: 802 words

**Summary: **Teddy reflects on the Map.  
**Disclaimer**: Unfortunately, Teddy doesn't belong to me. I wish he did, though.  
**Author's Note(s)**: Here's fact five from my 20 Random Facts . See, the thing about waiting a long time for a chapter, at least when it comes to me, is that you have a higher likelihood of having multiple chapter updates. So here you go. Here's a second update, and there's a third one coming up next. Might get these done yet. Once again, this one's for blysnovels.

…:…:…:…

Teddy could remember the story Harry had told him on the night before he left on the train for his first year at Hogwarts.

"A long time ago," Harry had said, "Long before I ever went to Hogwarts myself, there were four boys there. They called themselves the Marauders and they caused all kinds of mischief. And on occasion, they got into trouble for it, so they decided they needed to figure out how to avoid their professors and how to get away before they got caught in the middle of a prank."

Here, Teddy had interrupted. "Pranks like George plays? Gran Weasley doesn't like George's pranks."

Harry had laughed. "Oh, George only wishes he could come up with some of the pranks the Marauders played. Anyway, these boys needed a way to know when to escape and how to do it. So they spent many a night exploring the old castle for every secret passageway, trick staircase, tunnel, and hidden room they could find, and they drew a map. Then, Messer Moony, the mastermind, as far as I can tell, charmed the map to do two things. First it shows where everyone on the castle grounds is. And it hides itself from anyone who shouldn't have it."

"Blimey!" Teddy remembered whispering.

Harry uttered the magic words and tapped the old piece of parchment with his wand. The map unfurled and ink spread across it, drawing a layout of Hogwarts castle and grounds. Teddy gaped. He watched the dot belonging to Neville Longbottom, his Godfather's friend, travel across the paper, and was mesmerized. Harry told the map he was finished, and it faded clean and fold itself, and insisted that Teddy promise never to tell his Gran how to work it, or where he got it from.

"Who were the boys, Harry?" Teddy wanted to know.

"Messers Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs," Harry said with a smile. "Your dad was Moony, because of his affliction, of course. Wormtail was their friend Peter, who's animagus form was a rat. Padfoot was our dad's best friend, my Godfather, and your cousin, Sirius Black. He's animagus was a huge black dog. The first time I saw him, I thought he was the Grimm. My dad was Prongs. He became a stag."

Teddy would never forget the awe he felt, holding the Map for the first time, and knowing that his own dad had had a hand in creating it; had been a key player in it's creation. He hadn't been particularly excited about going to school, but the idea of being able to walk through the halls, holding his dad's map, and going places he had been had made him feel a little better. That was why Teddy was torn between being excited to see the look on James' face when he told handed the eleven-year-old the Map, and being sad to see it go.

Albus was out the door and dancing around Teddy before he even got to the front step. Harry was not far behind, watching from the front door.

"What brings you here, Teddy?" Harry asked as the young man was dragged into the house by his younger son.

"Got a present for James," Teddy said, flashing a seemingly blank piece of parchment.

"Oh no, you don't!" Harry yelped. "Al, go see if your Mum needs help hanging out the wash."

Albus seemed to wilt a little, but went off to the back yard obediently.

Teddy raised an eyebrow. "It's the Map, Harry. I'm out of school, Jamie's going in. I thought he could use it."

"Nope. Absolutely not," Harry said adamantly. "First of all, I gave you that map so you'd have something of your dad's. You pass it down to your own kids one day. They'll be able to use it, I'm sure. And secondly, Ginny knows all about that scrap of parchment. She's seen it. She's used it, as a matter of fact. And she'd recognize it if Jamie left it in his pocket when Ginny was getting ready to do laundry. Do you know what she'd do to me if she found out our son has the Map?"

Teddy didn't say anything.

"Exactly. She'd kill me. No, she'd probably do worse than that," Harry said. "You used the Map wisely, Ted, and I'm proud of you for that. But Jamie? He's spent far too much time with George. That is the definition of 'the wrong hands' when it comes to that map." Harry shuddered a bit.

James came bounding down the stairs at that exact moment. "Teddy! What's up? Did you come for dinner? Can he stay for dinner, Dad?"

Teddy smiled at James' enthusiasm and knew Harry was right. He slipped the Marauder's Map into the pocket of his denims. "Yeah, Dad, can I stay for dinner?"


	7. The Sixth Fact

**Title: **20 Random Facts About Teddy Remus Lupin: The Sixth Fact

**Author**: elenorecanard

**Rating**: Teen  
**Warning(s)**: Discussions of sex. Um…The boys use the "C" word, for male anatomy?

**Word Count**: 767 words

**Summary: **Teddy listens in on bloke's night in Gryffindor Tower.  
**Disclaimer**: Unfortunately, Teddy doesn't belong to me. I wish he did, though.  
**Author's Note(s)**: Here's fact six from my 20 Random Facts. This is what happens when the cable company is dumb and shuts off the internet for no reason (all the bills were paid too!). Mostly, I desperately wanted to see these Wizarding boys learning something about Muggles, and the little misunderstanding in the middle amused the heck out of me. This one's for blysnovels again. Laura, here's your Shay ;o).

…:…:…:…

Teddy sat on his bed alternating between rolling his eyes at Patrick Shay and revising for Ancient Runes. The other boys were sitting on the floor between the beds listening to Patrick elaborate on his latest escapades with Sophie Michaels.

"Come on, Lupin!" Phillip Jacobs called. "Come have a shot and listen. You might learn something from Shay here." The boys laughed

"You lot are lucky I don't report that Firewhisky to Longbottom, let alone me joining in," Teddy told them

"You wouldn't report Old Ogden, would you?" Samuel Webb asked from the corner.

"I would, but right now, I'm revising and not on Prefect duty and therefore, it's not worth it," Teddy answered.

"Leave Ted to his studying, boys. I've got the real story for you," Patrick said, taking a swig of the firewhisky and passing it to his right. "As I was sayin'. I've finally got Sophie completely starkers, on the blanket on top of the Astronomy tower, and she's puts her hand on my chest and asks if I've got a condiment."

"A condiment?" Teddy ventured from his perch on his bed.

"Yeah! So I say 'What on earth do we need a condiment for?' And do you know what she said?" Patrick left a dramatic pause. "'To prevent pregnancy,' says she! Just like she was quoting from a blood text book!"

"What'd you say, Pat?" Tom Boyle asked.

"What could I say? I told her, very gently, that mustard wasn't going to help us in that department, but I knew the charms that would."

Teddy laughed out loud.

"Oi! What'er yeh laughin' about, Lupin? You ever had to prevent pregnancy with mustard?" Patrick challenged indignantly.

"No," Teddy said between bursts of laughter. He set his books aside and dug around in his trunk some. When he'd found what he was looking for he plopped himself on the floor in the circle of boys and tossed a square packet at Patrick. "That's what she was asking you for. It's called a condom."

"A what?" Patrick asked, looking just as awed as the rest of the boys.

"It's a condom. Open it," Teddy urged.

Patrick opened the packet and extracted the piece of rubber from inside. "Whaddaya do with it?" He asked.

"It's Muggle contraception. You…well…you…" Teddy's hair turned a shade Harry would call Weasley Red. "You sort of…." he cleared his throat. "You put it on your..."

"Lupin, would you please just say the word cock and move on?" Patrick blurted.

"Right. You put it on your cock, and it catches the ejaculate when you orgasm," Teddy finished clinically.

Patrick raised an eyebrow. "How do you know so much about Muggle contraception?"

"My Godfather was raised by Muggles, Shay. Who else do you think gave me 'the Talk'? Certainly not my Gran." Teddy shuddered.

"Harry Potter taught you about condoms?" Samuel asked.

"Of course. And the charms too," Teddy shrugged.

"Wait a minute! You didn't teach Sophie about these condom thingies did you?" Patrick asked, bristling to defend his girlfriend's honor.

"Pat, Sophie's a Muggleborn, remember? I'm sure her mother taught her about them," Teddy soothed.

Patrick looked appeased. "'Course she did. 'Sides, can't expect a shirtlifter to get a leg over with my girl, right?"

Teddy sighed. "I'm not a….You guys, seriously, I'm not gay."

"Well, you never sit down here and tell us about your girl, like one of the blokes," Tom put in.

"I don't sit down here and talk about Mina because I happen to like her. And I respect her. And frankly, because what she and I do behind closed doors is none of your business," Teddy said, becoming a little angry.

"Woah. Simmer down, Lupin," Patrick interjected. "We get it."

Teddy shook his hair back out of his eyes, noting the color had gone from a ginger sort of red to a crimson color as he'd gotten upset.

"Do you really? 'Cause I get the idea that you lot won't be satisfied until I shag her in front of you." Teddy said, his voice low.

"We get it, Ted," Tom affirmed.

"Good. 'Cause hearing the rumors from the Hufflepuff first years is getting rather tired," Teddy said, with less hostility. "Seriously, guys. It's not true. It makes me angry, and it hurts Mina."

Teddy's roommates looked ashamed.

"I won't tell Longbottom about the whiskey. Just make sure you get rid of the evidence, yeah?" Teddy said, trying to show them no hard feelings.

"Yeah. We will, Ted," Patrick nodded. "And thanks, for the information."

"Any time, Shay. Any time," Teddy said, going back to his Ancient Runes book.


End file.
